Tuesday, February 15, 2011


have i really been lost that long...?
where was i hiding... where did i travel...
...damaged not broken...forgiven not forgotten
these days i rather find marbles randomly sprawled on tar...
...but i know...where they've been...how they roll...
slow regeneration...seeds of solace...
...the hard love left me chasing tears...i say he makes it please...
moving in...moving out...and up
mahala inspiration and more time to attempt a better expression...
...in time...
long time coming...

Monday, March 16, 2009


lately i wonder who or what it is that inhabits this flesh i call me. Strange and surprising behaviours take over and i lose touch in the unusual transpirings. A whole new aspect of identity and being, a whole new recognition of reality emerges.
A strong sense of detachment and a warm rush of freedom.
Intimacy called me last night and i gave in, to the persistant boy who helps my habit. I would feel odd about it, but i've lost myself too far to care.

I have no home, i have no mother, nor father, i have no possesions and i have no passion. But from all the years i did acquire, i've never felt as liberated and at peace with life as i do now. There are no questions, there are no mysteries, no worries, not even a future... there just is each eternal moment that fills each day, each week and each year until the right time where its all changed in a lightening darkness - the timeless return.

its my choice, and as soon as i "believe"... then everything is perfect.

wisdom to know my life from others...
courage to believe against all odds...
patience to allow desires to unfold...
love to share this simple beauty with all...

letting go... and letting be...

Monday, March 9, 2009

:: another white smoke night. ::

Each one brings a new gift - a confirmation of my hearts tale. A lesson i'm too stubborn to see? But i dont fall far, for i know the ways now of these insecure tricksters. All the angels long to fill their holes, i am on the same path, but i know what fits and whats just a distraction.
Easy lays down and i sleep well. Even a dream comes, and my rest reassures the dejavu of knowing. Small steps to an unknown destiny, held with patience and perseverance. A catalyst? Perhaps there's more meaning to the lines deep on my palms, waiting to be revealed. A great wonder. Noble guides and smiles of love touch me, reminding me to return to this space called reality. A nothingness that keeps me sane, sweeps over me in the dutiful drives and deliveries. i record as much as i can remember in the moments of revelation, even confusion, so that one day i may look back upon the patterns and ride the waves of a timeless journey.
only one remains true to some attachment, but the attraction could disguise the basis of the connection. Time reveals all secrets.
The heavy eyes take over the blankness and thoughts hide in the nods. The itches come with nose rubs and an unsettled stomach craves free.
i take a break, to lose all senses.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

:: Car waiting ::

Hunger patterns no desire.
Treading slightly informal on the spaces inbetween.
To where be blooming?
Outright inquisitions.
Linger longer boredom dwells, water ripples and ear-shot bells.
At the gatherings, patronising company holds my head up as i feel a sleepy nod. Disinterest, disatisfaction with their psycho babble, even in candle light their personalities remain distant.
A messgae awaits my romantic obsession. They are all angels on my path, as i long to love.
No more cash, no more smoke, even a hustle seems too obtruse.
The rain is nervous, but the air still tight.
My patience unwaiting, for recruitment, for movement, for social freedom and normality they say.
What an injustice this free-will, teasing notions of choice for life.
i drift...

Friday, February 20, 2009


I think therefore I am… I am lost in times of fantasy play around my head – heart trampled beyond broken ideas and expectations – patience be greatful for wisdom awaits. No cries of mourning, cannot lose what was still left to find. Rubble grumble for chicken soup too sick to sip, let it sit to grow

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

:: four days kicking ::

The chills have left me wanting no more. Inspired insight of forgotten talents from a friend kept me hoping, desperately grasping for time out in quietness to find. It occurs that this dream is pleasant in ways to the head. Nothing remains but moments of life, drifting, laughing, crying - it’s all the same.
I hung out like the wind, needing nothing more than light. Having lost everything in my seeking travels, I had gained a rebirth.
I’ll never leave the bench parks, or the pavement, not even the dirt. I’ll never not be alone nor sad in the world forced home, but I’ll smile, realizing it’s only a figment of mind. Bless the chaos, for it awakens us.